I forgot what day of the week it is.

I took some time today to sit out in the yard underneath a tree and write some poetry while drinking a nice glass of lemonade. I'm so happy that the weather is looking up lately. But it's weird how being outside alone can give you inspiration. If you're a writer or a poet, I would advise doing this as much as you possibly can.

One thing that caught my attention is bees. Bees are a very sad thing when you think about and personify them. If you give them emotions, they have to be one of the saddest creatures on the face of the earth. It's not their intention or instinct to be sad. But an entire hive of bees and only one of them mates with the queen. They have a short life span so they move from flower to flower, serving their purpose and pollinating (by instinct, not intent) only to die a short while. With a plan so simple, you wouldn't think they'd mind anyways. That is their intention in nature: to cross pollinate and die. It's not even a "live and fight another day" situation. I'm glad that I wasn't born a bee. Though it wouldn't make much of a difference.

Lately I've been feeling really down. Crazy. Like shit. I've been physically sick too with I don't even know what, but I think that might all be mental too. It's amazing how much of an impact the way that you think and feel has to do on your body. I've just been dragging through my days waiting for night time so that I can just fall asleep and hope that the next day something incredible happens. I know, that's no way to live your life. But honestly, until I find something of someone to break that routine I think that this is what I'm condemned to. Hopefully that time will be soon.

My friend told me yesterday that a city is a city and you can't blame it for your problems. Which is something I tend to do because I'm not happy with the scenery here and all I ever want to do is get out. I have aspirations that can't be contained in Erie, Pennsylvania. I suppose that's why I want to get out. I don;t really hate Erie, I guess. There's just nothing here for me and that is my fault, not the city's fault.

This movie is amazing. If you have never seen it, I suggest that you do.