Well kids...

I don't feel good. I need rest.

Lately I've been thinking about applying for college. Most notably, Columbia College Chicago. My heart is 90% set on it.

I'm going to go to sleep after this because I feel like fucking asshole right now.

Posting garbage again. But this is my blog. So fuck you if you don't like it.

You know how I know I'm sick? Because I took this shit. When I got done, I turned around to look at it (like I KNOW everyone does) and this is what I saw (from my camera phone):



And no, I don't bathe. I just go swimming in lakes and use my tub as a file cabinet.

One soul, two bodies.

Recently I read something profound and I decided to share it with all of you. It deals with the origins of love in Greek mythology.

The first human beings were androgynous with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. They aspired to climb into the heavens and usurp the gods, so Zeus split them all into two individuals: male and female. He then scattered them throughout the earth, condemning them to spending their lives searching for their lost other halves. Though they were given male and female properties, sexual intercourse was given to humanity to fulfill the need in body to become one with their opposites, though it would not suffice because their fulfillment could only be complete by the unification of their souls, not just their bodies.

Plato wrote about this in his Symposium.

I have to admit that I'm a lot like a lot of other people who read this; I'm not well versed in the ideals of Greek mythology despite the fact that I lived in Greece on the island of Crete for close to three years. So before I read this, I had no idea that such a concept even existed.

I find it profound because even though it is a relic of a world religion that has since been rendered obsolete, it is very accurate even by the standards of today in expressing the human desire for compassion. For love. I find it profound because there are so many cliches pertaining to "oneness" with a separate individual but none of them explain why. None of them have even the slightest expression as to why we all as human being hunger for love from someone else. But this does. And when I read it, this selection from Plato's Symposium, I couldn't believe how poetic and abstract this idea was. I couldn't believe that even back then people actually had this sort of idea about love being in a sense "completion."

I have my own ideas about love. I think that love is the most important emotion that a human being can feel in his or her lifetime as long as it's true. I think that if a person has experienced true love and it has failed them, it wasn't true love to begin with because true love never fails. There's a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. There's a difference between just love and true love and love and passion. I've written a lot of things stating the differences between all of these, especially love and passion. But I haven't written anything on here about it so I'm going to explain this (one time and one time only).

You can love anyone. It takes time to be in love with someone. There is such a thing as love at first sight, but you are not IN love with them. Thinking that you are in love with someone at first sight is an indicator of lust.

Lust is a disease.

Love is any deep admiration for someone but it has a limit. True love is endless. It overcomes anything and everything and cannot be broken. Love is associated with heartache. True love is associated with passion.

Love is being there for someone when they've drank too much and they're puking their guts up and telling them it's going to be alright. Passion is doing the same thing but holding their hair back and kissing them even though it's most likely to be disgusting as well. Passion is putting something in the forefront of your life and living every single day by it. For instance, my friend Nathan Farmer once told me this:

"I love to play piano. It's my passion and I've been doing it all my life. When my true love comes along they can break all of my fingers, making it impossible for me to play piano anymore. Because they become my passion."

He told me this years ago and I still remember it word for word because it made me think really hard about my idea of love (at the time) versus passion. In black and white, passion and lust look virtually the same without someone to interpret them. It's such a terrible thing when two completely different things get lost in translation.

I have to make a note that right now I'm talking about romantic love. Not love when it comes to lifestyles, friendships or families.

But yeah, that's just a few things I wanted to share with you. Comment this blog and give me your own ideas and interpretations. That's why I have a blog: to share and exchange ideas. Yet everyone refuses to play that game.

Old "About Me."

My name is Daniel Jacobitz. I reside on the shores of Lake Erie in the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, making my home in the township of Millcreek. Most of what I learned about life I learned in city of Charlotte, North Carolina. In every sense of the word I am an artist with formal training in both music and literature, the latter of which I never use because I would much rather be a trashy writer than a formal yet boring one. I sleep with my head at the foot of the bed rather than the more “conventional” way and my garments are arranged in my drawers by type and color. My handwriting is almost always in cursive and it is atrocious. I was named after my father’s best friend and my cousin and my last name is Slavic and hardly ever pronounced correctly. Most days you’ll be able to find me with my nose in a book sipping on delicious warm tea or you’ll interrupt me in the middle of a nap. My house is haunted, I’m convinced. I’m not particularly the best at showing my feelings so I write and when I choose to or not I share it with people. I’m often referred to as a gifted, talented, brilliant individual who is filled with a lot of heart and compassion. I simply deny the fact and state that “I’m only human.” I have one phobia: of bodies of water. Bathtubs don’t bother me. I used to be a sheep for the slaughter until I realized there is no point in living your life by the standards of others. I still delight in the things that I loved when I was a child. I have a dog named Bear who is a king german shepherd and most people cringe at the sight of him but he really is just a gentle giant. Night time is beautiful to me, as are rainy days. I bite my nails a lot but I suppose that’s not as bad of a habit as smoking cigarettes, which I also do. I’m considerably older than my siblings and as the firstborn I am the “fuck up” child. Pella, Iowa is the most beautiful place I have ever seen, especially when it rains at night time. I’m lacking the stereotypical male sexual appetite but I believe sex has an important role in romantic relationships. I believe that the love you have for one person cannot be exceeded by or compared to the love you have for another, but I believe that love teaches you more about yourself than it does about someone else. I have a preference for recycled clothing but not recycled knowledge. People tell me all the time that just about anything that comes out of my mouth that doesn’t have the word “fuck” in it is poetic. Some call me insane but I beg to differ stating that THEY are the ones who are lacking in sanity, not I. By looking at me you’d think that I had some sort of eating disorder, which I don’t. Don’t ask me for diet tips either because I’m just as baffled by it as you are. I advocate against superficiality and I support individualism strongly being an Existentialist in both philosophy and lifestyle. Yes, this means that I don’t believe in God but I have no problem with people who do. I hope that this "About Me" was enough to satisfy you. I hate talking about myself, and after reading this you can probably see why.

Photographs at the docks.

Wednesday: the day of the Roman messenger god Mercury, on the 29th day of April, a month named for the reporter who secretly helps out the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Today has been a cold and windy day where I reside. After a weekend of beautiful sunshine and summer-esque temperatures. My Tuesday was a cold and rainy day. Good things are never meant to last I suppose.

One concept that I've been thinking about lately that I think is magnificent is reflex. Like when you're young and you put your hand on a hot burner, and then when it burns you, you pull it back without even thinking about it. After the fact, when you do it you're at least hesitant about it even if it isn't hot. You're careful and aware of the potential danger that lies in that hot coil burner. This is a metaphor of my love life for the past year and a half. Sip that coffee slowly so as not to burn your tongue.

Lately I've been listening to the music project from British singer/songwriter Matt Hales. To be honest, when I listen to music like this it makes me feel inspired to create something beautiful and pushes me even more to get started on a musical project of my own. The quality of songwriting is astounding. If you haven't heard of this musical genius I'd advise you to stop by his Myspace or check him out legally in the Zune Marketplace or iTunes or whatever you use (yo ho yo ho a pirate's life for me). It's definitely worth a listen if you've got a good ear for talent. Trust me, if I say it, it's GOT to be true.

People keep on asking me for an elaborate list of authors that I take influence from or enjoy. I'm going to get on making a VERY elaborate list someday, but for the record:

Kurt Vonnegut, Charles Bukowski, Jack Kerouac, Ernest Hemingway, Hubert Selby Jr., Chuck Palahniuk, William Faulkner, Octavio Paz, Hermann Hesse, Kahlil Gibran, David Eggers, Milan Kundera, Stephen Chbosky. I'm forgetting a lot but again, this is just an on-the-spot list. When I can think more about it and make a better list, then you'll get it. Right now I am tired and at work and pissed-off at the fact.

Speaking of which, I need to go to the library or the bookstore (the latter once I get paid) and pick up some literature get stimulate my mind because it's been a while since I've read anything. I think the last thing I read was one of my friend's (at the time) copy of "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" by Tucker Max, which is an awesome book but it's not by any means inspirational. It's about as inspirational as a drunken conversation with a bunch of guys about how much ass they've gotten. Because that's precisely what the fucking book is about. It's not educational at all.

Currently playing on the Zune: "Jupiter" by Cave In.

I have no idea how my clothes get wrinkled every day when I iron them and hang them up every day. Like, seriously... What the fuck? I'm like "Alright, I have my clothes all ironed and ready for work tomorrow. They're lint-rolled and everything." No. When I put them on, I look down at a wrinkled mess. I don't get it. Maybe there is a God up there, and he just hates my guts.

Speaking of which, I've decided to call myself (openly) a creationist. But I don't believe that God exists. Do me a favor and take a pen and a piece of paper and on the paper draw a gigantic circle. Outside of this circle draw a smaller circle. In the big circle, write "Existence" and in the smaller circle, write "God" or "Divine power" or whatever your preference is. Draw yourself and all of your friends inside of the larger circle. Draw your family members and all of the people and place you've been in the larger circle. Write down your ideas, again in the larger circle. Nothing exists outside of this circle, in essence. Whatever created this large circle and everything inside of it cannot be inside of it. That's a paradox. Therefore, God doesn't exist. Hence we have no reason or logic to say that God is even there. We cannot even begin to conceive such a thing. So I can back my theories up with a simple drawing of two circles. It's not a hard concept to grasp, unless you're a hardcore Christian fundamentalist from "Alabamy!"

Everyone has this quote on their pages anymore and it's annoying:
"Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

First of all: What the fuck does that even mean? And why the surge in popularity in the phrase now? I think everyone got tired of seeing Heath Ledger's Joker and decided to go back in time and ruin the only good Joker (in my opinion) that there ever was too. Thanks a lot.

Suddenly I'm scene because I have long hair and wear girls jeans. People need to stop basing their opinions of other people on stereotypes. Seriously.

No sex in 4 months and 6 days. Abstinence rules.


(Yes, I did infer to Walt Disney being God).

TOR the Shuttlezord.

REALLY?!

I had written a gigantic blog but for some fucking reason I hit backspace and my browser went back to my dashboard, hence I lost everything! To top that one all off, Blogger for some reasons didn't back up the draft for it. FUCK!

I've been reading poetry from Dylan Thomas a lot lately. It's not particularly my style, enough to influence me. But it's very beautiful none the less. If you haven't read anything by him, I suggest you stop into your local book store and look for something by him. He was VERY ahead of his time, I think, and writes with an elegance that I think has disappeared with modern writers.

It's pretty stupid that I spend my days off in bed for almost their entirity. I'd cut it out if there was something or someone around to waste my time with (or rather just share it with) but there isn't anymore. I miss my friends. Most of them were swallowed alive by college in different states. And when I pulled my own disappearing act, my closeness with a lot of these people diminished. It's very sad. I also miss being in love. I miss having someone that I could put all of my time and effort into. Even if I fought with them because at the end of the day all the fighting wouldn't even matter because we were in love. I miss going on skylit walks at night, walking around downtown in beautiful cities and towns. I miss making someone smile, making them laugh, holding their hand like I'm never going to let it go. I miss writing songs and poetry for osmeone because of the massive amount of inspiration that they give me. I wish I could have something like that again. Hopefully it'll come my way.

I don't think that I'm very far off from getting a cellular telephone! Which is awesome because I fucking need one! Like... really bad. I don't know who I would call. It'd just be nice to have one. So I can make new friends and be like "Call me dude! We'll kick it!" Because right now I'm just like "Hit me up on AIM dude..." Which will never suffice as a social tool. I need to get up on it!

It's been very hot outside for the past couple of days. Summer time hot. And we're still in the middle of spring which is very unusual for Erie. I wouldn't be surprised though if it snowed in about a week. Erie weather is so fucked.

All of your chex mix are belong to us.

So there's this guy in the office at work who is getting a car from my co-worker, Brian, and he looks like a straight up hippy. He looks like he came directly out of an episode of That 70' Show. The type to drive a VW bus. In no way is this a bad thing. I see it as a compliment because he looks fucking AWESOME! I would like to drink and play guitar with this guy.


I've come to the conclusion that I can win ANY Battle of the Bands by playing "Wonderwall" on my lonesome on an acoustic guitar. It's a likeable song written by a likeable group of assholes. I think I could get the entire crowd so sing along in my effort to get a hundred and fifty dollars to put toward recording studio time (enough for maybe half a fucking song with my meticulousness).

Someone asked me what I would do if I knew that I couldn't fail. I thought hard on it and I've come to this: I would educate everyone in the world about the true meaning of love. When I say that, I don't mean romantic love. I mean love for everything around them. For the world. Even I need some education in such a thing, I think.

So House M.D. killed off the most logical member of the staff. Now we have hour-long episodes of Gregory House disassembling characters comprised completely of stupidity and a lack of common sense. I love it. Now that Kutner is gone, there is no one who can stop House from being a sarcastic madman.

!!!

On that note I wonder if there's going to be another Harold and Kumar movie since Kal Penn is one of Barack Obama's ass-puppets now.

At my job on the lobby TV we have a set of rabbit ears that are pretty unreliable and don't help much at all for getting TV stations. Right now the only channel that is coming in is the Evangelist channel. So I'm hearing some guy in the background of my workplace babbling about how God impregnated the Virgin Mary, citing every scripture where this moment occurs. I hope that a Musilum dude doesn't come in and not want to buy a car from us because he thinks we're militant Christians trying to convert them to a faith they find completely disgusting. Because they're close-minded. We get a lot of people like that in here. Which is why I smoke cigarettes in the back parking lot and not the front. Because there ARE people who will see an employee smoking and just pass by the dealership without stopping. That is bad juju!

Lately I've been delving into 1960's and 1970's American culture as far as literature, music, fashion, etc. I found that I have a profound attraction to these things.

For the record I want to state that I am a proud owner of one of these devices and I am remarkably overwhelmed with satisfaction from its performance. I plug this bad boy up to my xbox 360 and I can watch all of the movies that I've downloaded or ripped on to my computer at the click of a button. All of my music is easily accessed through various menues that would make an elite iPod user cringe in his seat. The only reason that I can see anyone having a dissatisfaction with the Zune is if they've never given it a shot. There are COUNTLESS people who have bought iPod after iPod only to see them break or shut down. Not the Zune, dude. You can even sort out episodes of TV shows by season on this thing and access them like that (For instance I have the entire series of Neon Genesis Evangelion on my Zune and I click the series title and it brings up every episode in order by season). I love it. It has an internal FM radio in it that I nveer use but you can download songs from wifi that you like using the radio if you have a Zune Pass subscription (that I don't use really just because I don't have $15 a month to spend on unlimited music).

I'm disgusted with people who are spoiled in life. Just a note.

I'm sipping on my water bottle wanting the workday to end. Evangelism on TV is making my life DRAG SLOWLY!!!

Spider-man!