We were walking downtown.

I'm sick as a dog and I'm at work. I'm pissed the fuck off. I woke up this morning and the first thing that I said to myself was "Work is NOT happening today." I said it over and over, as I shaved my face, dragged myself through the shower, ironed my work shirt and my pants. As I brushed my fucking teeth. As I'm here sipping on my tea. I feel like that's all I have today. A cup of tea. That's my one last shred of hope: my nice, warm, steaming cup of tea. I would kill someone right now over this cup of tea. Let's say someone comes by and is being a dickhole and knocks my cup over and it spills all over my desk. You have no idea what kind of fucking violence would ensue. It'd be MORTAL KOMBAT for sure.

I'm starting to be amazed by the impact that Charles Bukowski has on the indie subculture. There are so many references to his work and I had never even realized it and it's great I think. At least someone out there is paying homage to someone who is a genius but often misconstrued as a loon.

I really REALLY hope that I can get a hold of an acoustic guitar sometime soon so that I can start writing music solo. I want to also set money aside so that I can invest in a decent keyboard to write and record music on as well. There are a lot of things right now that I need. Here is a list:

A.) An external hard drive for my laptop to keep all of my music and my ripped movies on. Because the amount of it that I have is far surpassing the space I need on my hard drive for my computer to function right. Everyone I know who is at least even a little tech-savvy tells me that it's a good investment. My Zune is NOT a reliable place to keep all of my music on because in the past I've had problems with mp3 players and even though I haven't had any trouble with my Zune I don't want to risk losing everything because it's a lot of work trying to get it back. If I do get an external hard drive and it crashes at least I can just drag all of my music from my Zune back onto my computer (something you can't normally do without a ton of hassle with iPods). But I need to free up some space on my hard drive on my computer.

B.) An acoustic guitar, for reasons I explained above. I have nothing to write music on now. I HAD an acoustic and it was decent but it's gone. So I'm fucked as far as writing music right now. I guess I could score music but without being able to hear it, it wouldn't do much good.

C.) A fucking vehicle. Car, truck... ANYTHING. My world needs to open the fuck up. I'm tired of being stuck at home all the time because I don't have transportation to do anything. At least when I lived with my mom she let me take her car to do stuff. With my dad this isn't the case. Plus I'm afraid to drive a vehicle that is THAT big and expensive (GMC Yukon Denali). So even if he did let me drive it, I more than likely wouldn't. Because I would hurt someone behind the wheel of that thing. I'm not even worried about myself. It's a gargantuan metal sarcophagus. Nothing would hurt me in that thing.

D.) A cellular phone. Even though no one would ever call me. It'd just be good to have one. Maybe my social life would open up a little bit.

I can't think of anything else. I'm sick and pissed off and I want to stay away from ranting too much today because it'll neg me out even more and I'll bomb and fucking be miserable all day. So I'm trying to stay away from that and keep my head up. It's hard to do when you've got some fucking shit in your body making your head and chest feel like it's going to explode, like you swallowed a bucket of broken glass that is making you leak mucus all over yourself all fucking day (and you can't breathe easy because you're clogged up so you're breathing heavily through your mouth between coughs and people think you're a creep). I feel like I'm going to puke up my oatmeal all over the floor.

But at least I have my fucking tea and I'm listening to the sweet sounds of Copeland to keep my heart light.

So when I'm at work we always have Court TV on (it's either that or morning cartoons or Hannah Montana) and I think what I find most hilarious about this genre of television programming is the ignorance of these people. And not just that. They try so hard to sound smart so that the judge will rule in their favor, therefore making them look like even bigger idiots. Some of them use words that they can't even spell, let alone know the meaning of and I find it hysterical!

Lately I've been listening to Anberlin a lot. I'm a big fan of Stephen Christian and everything that he's done and I follow his blog on here. He has a solo project called Anchor & Braille that is being produced by Aaron Marsh from Copeland that is coming out at the end of the month I believe... I'm not exactly sure when the release date is but I'm excited to hear what this project has to offer in the end result.

I plan on remodeling and laying out both of my blogs to make them better and more accessable sometime when I have some free time so check back and see sometime. I have no idea when I'll have the time to do this. It's been a while since I've even been able to work on a legitimate Myspace layout.

I can't think of anything more to write about. As my mood disintegrates and I wish for death to come quickly to me I'm sure I'll think of more to write. Until then...