03102009C

Okay... so my lunch break. I couldn't figure out what to do. I have about fourty five minutes to work with so let's see what I get done on here.

My room was a fucking mess this morning and my grandmother is sleeping in there. Yes, I am a nice enough guy to forfeit my bed so that my grandmother can sleep comfortably. Meanwhile, I'll be sleeping on the couch or something. It's something I'm pretty used to. Hell, a month ago I would give anything for someone to give me a fucking FLOOR to sleep on. So it's whatever. I love my grandmother.

So I cleaned up my mess and found more notes that I'd written for myself that should probably be burned before they're found and my secrets get out. I don't want my family to think that I've completely lost it. The funny thing is that my dad will try and get into my head and understand where I'm coming from with some of the things I think and believe and feel. But he doesn't know anything. And he assumes that he's been in my position before, like I'm living some sort of fucking legacy that he set forth before I was even conceived. It's a bunch of nonsense.

I NEED BOOKS! I'm seriously losing it. I hate television. I don't watch movies. I just want to sit down and read with a nice cup of tea and the occasional smoke break. If anyone has any books they want to donate to my cause, then please assist me. For the most part, I read philosophical fiction books, satire and black comedy.

I'm going to have some crazy catching up to do with my comics. Really, all I'm worried about are Invincible Iron Man, Ultimate Iron Man, Ghost Rider, Captain America, Thor, and Ultimate Spider-man. MAYBE Ultimate X-Men and Ultimate Fantastic Four, but no one that I've been talking to has said much about the last two so there must just be some downtime in them or something. I'm twenty-three years old, yes. And I still read comic books. I'm kind of glad that I didn't take my collection with me to Gabi's because I would have lost all of it.

Speaking of which I need to get a hold of some cash and go on a shopping spree. I have like no clothes.

In a way, I'm glad that Ashley basically forced me to get a hold of my uncle because after a series of events I'm not on the streets anymore. If I hadn't, I have no the fuck idea where I would be right now or what I'd be doing. So I do need to thank her for that. I don't know if she still reads this or what. I definitely couldn't go on much longer staying with friends and spending the night in all night coffee shops. There's only so much of that I could probably take.

Luckily I have a family that loves me, no matter how much we disagree about everything that has anything to do with any aspect of life. I do need to get out of my dad's house because I'm still not adjusted to living with my parents. Even though I did it for a while after I moved back from Iowa. I'm used to being self-sufficient and able to make my own daily decisions. I don't even determine what time I wake up in the morning anymore.

I need to move on. Still, I have this weight around my ankle. It sucks. But it is what it is.

I'll write more later.