I write "you're beautiful" on the backs of my business cards.

New post! Oh my god it's been like a few days. I've been slacking. Usually there are like fifteen posts per week but I'm so busy fucking working that there just is no time! I'm sorry for all of you who are faithful to my writing. It surely needs to stop. I kind of have no excuse because I was off yesterday but I just laid in my bed all day long yesterday and I didn't do much except for going upstairs to get an achievement by eating a couple sandwiches. Sometimes you just need those days where you're just like, "Blah I need to fucking rest!" This was the case with me.

Aside from over-dramatics that are happening with former loves in my life, I suppose nothing really is going on. Currently I have someone in my life who has a tendency to utterly take my breath away but for the moment we've reached a stalemate where things can't go any further than they have despite our growing emotions. Things need to happen and they WILL happen. We just have to give it some time I guess. Nothing good ever comes easy and I've got my regrets about holding back in the past but I feel free now. I feel like I'm cutting that rope that is tied to the dock and I'm ready to just float with the current.

I've been reading a lot of articles lately about the existence of God. I've come to the conclusion that no one in the world has the capability to perceive and therefore prove (or disprove) the existence of God. Not even if you took every single one of our minds and put them together. So basing your idea that God does or doesn't exist based on scientific knowledge is absurd. Basing the idea that God exists based on religious views is also absurd. But I do believe that there is a part of us, written by design, that is based on God. It's higher than our own consciousness and it's something that we as human beings cannot understand. I think of God metaphorically as this all-powerful (by our standards but not by his own) artist and architect and when you think about it (if you're an artist you know this) an artist's masterpieces are almost always a reflection of themselves. If your art could think for itself, you wouldn't have to make it because it would just make itself and overthrow your idea which is what we're incapable of. If we could perceive the being that created up, we'd be breaking a fourth wall. It's beyond all concept, beyond all faith and certainly beyond all reason. But that's not to say that the morals written in religious works aren't fairly accurate. But these are common sense. This is right and wrong as it's been conceived since the beginning of time. It doesn't take a fool to know that, which is why it's so universally accepted.

You can take a photo. But a photo cannot take you.

I downloaded Pokemon: The First Movie just for the fact that I wanted to watch something where Mewtwo is an asshole to everyone. It doesn't matter though because he was treated like shit too when he was born so he had a right to, you know? He just doesn't take any goddamn shit from anyone and I really admire that! Mewtwo really, even still I think, is the strongest Pokemon. If I can recall, he can learn any moves just like Mew and his elemental (psychic) stats are through the fucking roof. It isn't really evil, it's just misunderstood and it misunderstands the human population. I think that he is probably the most psychologically deep character in the Pokemon universe. Everything else is either cute as fuck of brutal.

I need cigarettes (smoke them I mean) and I need to drink about a gallon more of coffee before lunch so I have enough energy that I won't crash in the day eventually. I'm probably going to Country Fair to get a sandwich for lunch today and I'll probably see Hannah Brown's sister there because from what I have seen she works there a lot.

I'm going to write more later for sure because I have stuff to talk about. I just need to take a break from typing for a hot minute.

One soul, two bodies.

Recently I read something profound and I decided to share it with all of you. It deals with the origins of love in Greek mythology.

The first human beings were androgynous with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. They aspired to climb into the heavens and usurp the gods, so Zeus split them all into two individuals: male and female. He then scattered them throughout the earth, condemning them to spending their lives searching for their lost other halves. Though they were given male and female properties, sexual intercourse was given to humanity to fulfill the need in body to become one with their opposites, though it would not suffice because their fulfillment could only be complete by the unification of their souls, not just their bodies.

Plato wrote about this in his Symposium.

I have to admit that I'm a lot like a lot of other people who read this; I'm not well versed in the ideals of Greek mythology despite the fact that I lived in Greece on the island of Crete for close to three years. So before I read this, I had no idea that such a concept even existed.

I find it profound because even though it is a relic of a world religion that has since been rendered obsolete, it is very accurate even by the standards of today in expressing the human desire for compassion. For love. I find it profound because there are so many cliches pertaining to "oneness" with a separate individual but none of them explain why. None of them have even the slightest expression as to why we all as human being hunger for love from someone else. But this does. And when I read it, this selection from Plato's Symposium, I couldn't believe how poetic and abstract this idea was. I couldn't believe that even back then people actually had this sort of idea about love being in a sense "completion."

I have my own ideas about love. I think that love is the most important emotion that a human being can feel in his or her lifetime as long as it's true. I think that if a person has experienced true love and it has failed them, it wasn't true love to begin with because true love never fails. There's a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. There's a difference between just love and true love and love and passion. I've written a lot of things stating the differences between all of these, especially love and passion. But I haven't written anything on here about it so I'm going to explain this (one time and one time only).

You can love anyone. It takes time to be in love with someone. There is such a thing as love at first sight, but you are not IN love with them. Thinking that you are in love with someone at first sight is an indicator of lust.

Lust is a disease.

Love is any deep admiration for someone but it has a limit. True love is endless. It overcomes anything and everything and cannot be broken. Love is associated with heartache. True love is associated with passion.

Love is being there for someone when they've drank too much and they're puking their guts up and telling them it's going to be alright. Passion is doing the same thing but holding their hair back and kissing them even though it's most likely to be disgusting as well. Passion is putting something in the forefront of your life and living every single day by it. For instance, my friend Nathan Farmer once told me this:

"I love to play piano. It's my passion and I've been doing it all my life. When my true love comes along they can break all of my fingers, making it impossible for me to play piano anymore. Because they become my passion."

He told me this years ago and I still remember it word for word because it made me think really hard about my idea of love (at the time) versus passion. In black and white, passion and lust look virtually the same without someone to interpret them. It's such a terrible thing when two completely different things get lost in translation.

I have to make a note that right now I'm talking about romantic love. Not love when it comes to lifestyles, friendships or families.

But yeah, that's just a few things I wanted to share with you. Comment this blog and give me your own ideas and interpretations. That's why I have a blog: to share and exchange ideas. Yet everyone refuses to play that game.