Subconsciously Yours, Daniel

I had this weird dream last night... I just have to write about it because it came out of nowhere and caught me off guard.

For whatever reason I was in Raleigh, North Carolina at a coffee shop and it was a little chilly outside and I was wearing a jacket. I reached into my pocket to get my cigarettes and I found a little envelope. Now... I was curious as to how it got in my pocket because I don't remember putting it there. I opened up the envelope and there was a note with an address in a familiar handwriting that I couldn't place at the time. It had an address on it and it said "Meet me here at 3:15 in the afternoon. Just come in, don't knock."

I looked at my watch and it said 3:03 and for some reason I bolted and found my way to this address and it was a small house. Nice on the outside. The door was open and I walked in and it was just as nice on the inside. And on the couch in the living room was someone sleeping on the couch wearing a dress. I recognized her immediately when she rolled over to see who was there.

It was my first love. Not the first person I've ever been in love with but the first person I've loved (to me there is a huge difference and I was far too young to understand the concept of being in love at the time). She looked beautiful and she smiled and said "Daniel Ryan..." as she stretched out her arms to give me a hug. I gave her one and lifted her to her feet. She was different from the last time I saw her, but she still had that light in her eyes that I always adored about her and I noticed it right away.

We sat at a table and talked about things over a cup of tea. She knew I was a writer but I was struggling to get my work published. I knew she was going to school for psychology and she told me it was going well. And we laughed and told stories and jokes and we were nostalgic and talked about how everything used to be and how much we missed one another and all of that and she kissed me on the cheek. It made me blush and then she did it again. I looked down at my shoes and laughed and then she went to do it again, and I turned my head and kissed her right back. And she didn't expect it.

After this happened there was about five minutes of silence. And we'd just look over back and forth at each other and shoot awkward smiles. I got up, put my jacket on to leave and she pulled me my the hand and from that point we made out. After that she held me and begged for me to not leave again. I told her that I had to and that everything was different and I didn't feel like there was a place for this right now in either of our lives. And she told me she didn't care and that she wanted it to be, even if it was the only thing that had a place in our lives. And she was crying.

And then I kissed her on her head behind her ear. And I woke up.