Broken television set.

Simply put, I haven't posted anything in here for a while because nothing has been going on with me. Really. Just the same old eat, sleep, work, repeat bullshit routine. I don't know how to sugarcoat that any more than I already have in the past. It's pretty ridiculous but what can you do?

Returning, though, as of late has been my love for RPG games, more specifically the Final Fantasy series and even more specifically the Compilation of Final Fantasy VII. The way that this came about was I was playing Dirge of Cerberus - Final Fantasy VII and I went back to Crisis Core - Final Fantasy VII and I was just hooked and reeled back into the fascinating story behind this (which has influenced some aspects of my own writing now as I'm incorporating some of the aspects of it into my novel). Zack Fair is a true hero. The thing is in the original game, you don't know much about him so you're not as close to him. You can hardly understand what is going on really because the game is so vague with its background story. But when you play through Crisis Core and see how much of a hero the "restless puppy" is, it really gets to you when you see him die at the hands of Shinra. I almost want to cry just thinking about the scene where Zack is staring up at the sky, dying and how he passes his legacy on to Cloud who is to "Live his life for the both of them."

Speaking of which, I've been thinking about how the love triangle between Cloud, Tifa and Aerith works (prepare to be dweebed out). This is just a theory but I believe that Tifa is Cloud's sweetheart the entire time but they're both too stubborn to admit to it. Cloud is somewhat of a loner leading him to pushing people that he cares about away and keeping them at a safe distance so that he doesn't end up disappointing them. He lacks the self-confidence to tell Tifa how he feels about her. His emotional attachment to Aerith is based on expectations set upon him by his best friend Zack, her previous boyfriend... he's supposed to live his life for the both of them and take care of Aerith, which he fails to do as she's impaled by Sephiroth. Also, due to the experimentation on them Cloud somehow gains some of Zack's memories (I don't care what you say, Drake. If Cloud was simply taking up Zack's legacy this doesn't explain his identity crisis). Cloud gets some mental aspects from Zack but Zack doesn't show any of the same symptoms due to his body rejecting the S Cell treatment and his tolerance to mako exposure (which left Cloud's mind in a broken state). More or less, I think that his guilt for her death was because he couldn't live up to that expectation of his best friend which is why he shows up in flashbacks of her. This is just what I think.

Several new albums have come out from bands that I typically like. Some of them are good (Burden of a Day, Oceana, This Providence) and some of them aren't so much (the Devil Wears Prada). But I love sticking to the good old guns and I've been listening to Saves The Day, Hidden In Plain View and Jimmy Eat World a lot lately (along with the usual metalcore bands that I listened to in high school).

The two most worthless bands of all time: Motionless in White and brokeNCYDE.

Anyways... back to work. I'm sure SOMETHING will happen.

LOVELESS: Act 1

VERY big news...

I've done a rewrite of the basis of my novel, that provides a back story for everything that is going on in the world at the time of its events. It is a major change that has less holes and questionable things. The reason why I did this was because after doing a read through of what I wanted to happen and the history behind what happens, there were too many unknowns and I feel like the reader should be immersed in a world where everything is completely different. It can also be tied directly to modern history as well though it takes place in the future. I've expanded the weapons to being more than just ranged weapons and it now includes melee weapons.

My influences have largely been from anime and science-fiction films like Blade Runner. And the main character's struggles toward the beginning are less like flashbacks and more like overlapping existences that were shown in movies like the Matrix and Vanilla Sky. You'll learn a lot about the main character in the beginning of the novel because the more that someone knows and understands about a character, the larger the possibilities of throwing the reader curveballs are.

On another note, my laptop runs like shit. I need to get some new anti-virus software for it. I also need to go through the thing and delete a whole bunch of shit that I don't use. I'm thinking about getting a copy of Avast and removing AVG because I've read better reviews about it from customers. My computer came with AVG for some reason. I don't get it. Spybot S&D lets so much shit slip through though and will not suffice. AVG doesn't even really seem to fucking go a goddamn thing anyways.

I've recently decided to sever my ties with anyone in my past who has influenced me for the worst. Not only that, but I've also given up on people who aren't worth my time. I always try to see the best in people but the fact of the matter is no matter how badly you want someone who isn't a good person to be a good person, you can't make them into that. It's impossible. Especially the most stubborn of people, too. I'm moving on along to people who are deserving of me and my time and I'm happy with that. Perfectly fine with it.

(I'd put my heart in a box and mail it to you if I wasn't too broke to pay the postage.)

I have revisted my obsession with Final Fantasy VII lately. Take a look at this and you'll see why:


Is that not one of the most incredible things you have ever seen or what?! Sephiroth makes that shit look so easy! He's so the fucking man!

List of things that I NEED:
-Playstation 3 ($400)
-Playstation Portable ($200)
-Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII ($30)
-Final Fantasy VII (???)
-Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII ($30)
-Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children Complete
-External hard drive ($150)