I write "you're beautiful" on the backs of my business cards.

New post! Oh my god it's been like a few days. I've been slacking. Usually there are like fifteen posts per week but I'm so busy fucking working that there just is no time! I'm sorry for all of you who are faithful to my writing. It surely needs to stop. I kind of have no excuse because I was off yesterday but I just laid in my bed all day long yesterday and I didn't do much except for going upstairs to get an achievement by eating a couple sandwiches. Sometimes you just need those days where you're just like, "Blah I need to fucking rest!" This was the case with me.

Aside from over-dramatics that are happening with former loves in my life, I suppose nothing really is going on. Currently I have someone in my life who has a tendency to utterly take my breath away but for the moment we've reached a stalemate where things can't go any further than they have despite our growing emotions. Things need to happen and they WILL happen. We just have to give it some time I guess. Nothing good ever comes easy and I've got my regrets about holding back in the past but I feel free now. I feel like I'm cutting that rope that is tied to the dock and I'm ready to just float with the current.

I've been reading a lot of articles lately about the existence of God. I've come to the conclusion that no one in the world has the capability to perceive and therefore prove (or disprove) the existence of God. Not even if you took every single one of our minds and put them together. So basing your idea that God does or doesn't exist based on scientific knowledge is absurd. Basing the idea that God exists based on religious views is also absurd. But I do believe that there is a part of us, written by design, that is based on God. It's higher than our own consciousness and it's something that we as human beings cannot understand. I think of God metaphorically as this all-powerful (by our standards but not by his own) artist and architect and when you think about it (if you're an artist you know this) an artist's masterpieces are almost always a reflection of themselves. If your art could think for itself, you wouldn't have to make it because it would just make itself and overthrow your idea which is what we're incapable of. If we could perceive the being that created up, we'd be breaking a fourth wall. It's beyond all concept, beyond all faith and certainly beyond all reason. But that's not to say that the morals written in religious works aren't fairly accurate. But these are common sense. This is right and wrong as it's been conceived since the beginning of time. It doesn't take a fool to know that, which is why it's so universally accepted.

You can take a photo. But a photo cannot take you.

I downloaded Pokemon: The First Movie just for the fact that I wanted to watch something where Mewtwo is an asshole to everyone. It doesn't matter though because he was treated like shit too when he was born so he had a right to, you know? He just doesn't take any goddamn shit from anyone and I really admire that! Mewtwo really, even still I think, is the strongest Pokemon. If I can recall, he can learn any moves just like Mew and his elemental (psychic) stats are through the fucking roof. It isn't really evil, it's just misunderstood and it misunderstands the human population. I think that he is probably the most psychologically deep character in the Pokemon universe. Everything else is either cute as fuck of brutal.

I need cigarettes (smoke them I mean) and I need to drink about a gallon more of coffee before lunch so I have enough energy that I won't crash in the day eventually. I'm probably going to Country Fair to get a sandwich for lunch today and I'll probably see Hannah Brown's sister there because from what I have seen she works there a lot.

I'm going to write more later for sure because I have stuff to talk about. I just need to take a break from typing for a hot minute.

How to change spark plugs:

Here's the deal: I had a blog on here entitled "Beautification." Subsequently I have moved it to my other blog for my writing and poetry. You can read it here or you can just go to Photographic Memory Loss. I had posted it on here because I was taking a stab at stream-of-consciousness writing and I felt that I had written something powerful that deserved attention, which PML is lacking anymore. Most people just come here to read what I have to say and don't stop by the other blog because they're too lazy and reading what I write is such a goddamn chore to them (no offense if you're one of these people who are reading this but it's true and you know it as well as I do). Maybe I should just start doing video blogs or something? Because people are such mind-slaves to the video format that they're going illiterate. I don't know.

Now that I've cleared that up, I am absolutely fucking starving right now. But the good news is Brian just left to go get some McFood. Kevin Mason, I know that you get disgruntled when I speak of such things, but the extreme of this hunger is enough to shake the knees of an African refugee. Well... that might be pushing it a little far but I have not ingested any type of solid food matter since approximately four o'clock yesterday afternoon and we're coming up on that time as I'm typing this. An entire day of no eating. The only reason why I haven't gone crazy and eaten post-it notes is due to my diminished appetite from this contagion that (still) is in my body and refuses to get the fuck out! Agggggggggh! I hate being sick so much.

I've come to the conclusion that given the results of my attempt at stream-of-consciousness writing, it's going to be an oft-used technique when I'm writing my novel (which is still in the beginning stages still because of my lack of time to put into it due to my fucking job that I'm at four million and eighty six thousand hours a week). Someone had mentioned the style of writing to me and I'd forgotten about it completely and it wasn't something that I had tried doing before and even I was impressed with the results and I wrote the damned thing! But I remembered it, went back and dug up some William Faulkner and Jack Kerouac and decided it was a long shot but I'd see if I was capable of just typing out nonsense as it was coming to mind in a timed fashion. It worked!

Speaking of work, I'm completely fascinated and amused at the fact that I go to bed every night to get some rest so that I have a marvelous and fantastic day doing nothing when I should be in bed sleeping or out having a social life. Sad, but so motherfucking true I guess.

I think that with tobacco prices on the rise I should give up my long-time habit of smoking cigarettes. But it's so much harder than I have ever thought imaginable, especially since the way I've changed since it was a feasable thing to do to quit. Now I'm so addicted and I rely on nicotine so much that if I don't have it to balance me out, I can't think straight. I panic. I get desperate. I start giving hand jobs for shorts. It's fucking ridiculous. I hate the fact that I have anxiety and I hate the fact that I rely on a chemical to balance me out. It makes me feel like I'm a weak person, honestly. Every time I light up a cigarette I think "Wow I REALLY shouldn't be doing this." But I keep on doing it anyways. It's terrible. Smokers guilt.

Drake Semrau and I have come to the conclusion that we are nerds, but we're highly attractive nerds who have a way with words.

Which brings me to my next subject: I don't think that Emperor Palpatine died when he was thrown down that reactor shaft on the Death Star. I think that he's still out there, branding everyone as an "enemy of the Republic" and camping out in Staples and Office Depot stores to sit in the revolving chairs so that he can villainously spin around and threaten blonde kids into joining his cause. But since Darth Vader is definitely dead (you see his Force ghost at the end of "Jedi"), who is his new apprentice?

Lil Wayne. Also known as Darth Young Money Millionaire. I'm becoming increasingly tired of hearing about that dude and I'm finding it ridiculous that I can't turn on the radio one time during the day without hearing at least one song by him or featuring him. Dark times are definitely ahead of us if my theory is true, but it's just speculation. I know for a fact that I'm not sending Samuel L. Jackson in to deal with this (no matter how much of a hard-ass he is). I might have to handle this one for myself by boycotting everything that has to do with him. The problem is most of this country is composed of middle-classed white kids driving their parents' cars around town bumping "A Milli" and this is an endeavor that I will inevitably lose.

I made another post-it note for myself today. It says: "Daniel, don't you dare fall asleep!" and I drew a picture of Barad-dûr and the all-seeing eye below it. On top of that I'm listening to Saetia and I've gotten so hyped up on coffee that I want to harass a bus full of high-school football players. When the bus drops off the kids that I harass (all twenty of them at the same time) I want to fight them all Bushido Blade style. I will have a hidden camera man film this event and I'll send it to Maxwell House so that they can use it in their advertising campaign.

I need to do something productive.

Currently listening to:
Inhale/Exhale
The Lost, The Sick, The Sacred